Lolly and Ron Spaide used to live the life many people dream of, when Ron's job had them living in the Caribbean. When they decided to move back home, Lolly found a house for sale near her parents. But when Ron finally saw it, he burst into tears and pleaded with his wife to reconsider. She promised that in six years, the house would be perfect. In the past five years, Lolly has come up with some less-than-perfect solutions for her big plan. She has spray-painted the brown cabinets black, covered the gold flecked counters in contact paper, and covered the floors in sticky tile, all hand cut with scissors. What a mess! The next time Ron cries, he wants it to be tears of joy in his brand new kitchen.