As the neighbors watch and waitBy Joe Lamp'l
My neighbors are watching and patiently waiting. Actually, word has it that it's more than just the surrounding hood; I'm told by reliable sources that people people are slowly driving by to see the transformed yard of the TV gardening guy (me) who's recently moved into town.
Living in a small town doesn't require really big news to get things buzzing. But when you arrive with a reputation that precedes you, expectations are high. Unfortunately, so far I've managed to disappoint any and every passerby (but not by intention). I, too, want that beautifully manicured garden and landscape that everyone venturing onto my street is expecting to see.
Ever heard the old expression, "The cobbler's kids have no shoes"? My real-life version of that expression is "the gardener's yard has no plants." Yet I'm as anxious as any passionate gardener, salivating at the chance to get my hands dirty again.
When my family and I first moved into our North Carolina house last August, I knew right away the landscape was in for a serious makeover. Unfortunately, the gardening shows that I host just aren't that kind of format.
So far, the only 'landscaping' I've had time to do is to rip out all the inappropriately placed plants and erase the weed-infested lawn. The result was a front yard without a single spec of green. In fact, eight months later, the only change is a new lawn that looks pretty good.
My hectic travel schedule has created a backlog of things to do outside and a rapidly closing window of opportunity for spring planting. And one more thing: I also have the added pressure of a major newspaper running a feature on "the progress of my landscape makeover."
The reporter tracked me down last fall. She left a message stating that they heard I had moved to Mount Airy and wanted to do a feature on my relocation to a small town. How bad could that be?, I thought. We could meet at the local coffee shop, and they'd never know about my currently disgraceful yard.
Then they dropped the bomb. She asked if she could meet me at my house and bring a photographer. That way they could take pictures of the yard and gardens as well.
Having just moved in only weeks before, I tried to explain that I had nothing to photograph at my house. I informed her that I had just ripped everything out and tilled up the yard, all with the intent of creating a blank slate, a clean palette, a place to create my masterpiece.
That was the wrong thing to say. I thought I could deflect the cameras and buy at least a few months of time. On the contrary, when the reporter called back, she said they were excited about "documenting the progression," as my yard transformed from bland to beautiful. Even worse, she pressed me for a timeline.
Oops. I hadn't even thought about that. But give her credit! As a good reporter, she was doing her job and asking the tough questions. Under duress, I must have said something like "by mid-May, things should look a lot different around here." Now with only about four weeks to go before the dreaded photo expose, things look just about like they did last fall.
But now, as spring moves toward summer, it is time to finally get busy in my own garden. I'm determined to turn things around in my yard before that phone rings again and before even those passers-by become critics.
I've made my list and outlined the bed lines. All the plants I relocated from my Atlanta garden sit ready to take their place in their new home. I've also identified new plant providers and soil suppliers. The plan is drawn (at least in my head). It's time to let the gardening begin! I'll keep you posted.
(Joe Lamp'l, a master gardener, hosts DIY's Fresh from the Garden as well as a gardening radio show. For more information, visit www.joegardener.com. Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service.)
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